Is it wrong to judge your friends? To find them less than perfect?

My friends annoy me with their flaws and quirks, yet I realise that it is these flaws which make them who they are. A never apologises for anything - she never thinks she needs to. It grates on me but I've learnt to accept it and while I'm sure my eyes betray my thoughts at times, I let it go.

C drinks too much and puts too much emphasis on partying etc. I always feel like the "good girl" around her - like the mother and for god's sake, she's the older one! There's always drama in her life - with her chaotic family and you know what, in every story, she's never in the wrong. Nevermind that she takes advantage and makes assumptions. Never mind that the very things she criticises them for doing are things she does right back to them. There's never any time for my issues so I hold back and don't share. What's the point when nobody listens?

I know that I'm at fault here too - if I'm not happy with my friends, it's up to me to find new ones and I'm lazy. I don't have the energy to join a new group and play nice to make sure people like me. It's hard work, a new friendship. You need to put all the effort into it with no assurances that it'll work. It's like a recipe that you've never tried before - buy all the ingrediants, cook it just right but what happens if, after all that work, you don't like the taste?

Am I being too judgemental? Should I just accept their flaws and realise that maybe I put too much emphasis on the give and take nature of a relationship? Is it natural to feel that it's more give than take?

This is my space. Nobody knows me and nobody I care about will judge me. This is not a place I hold back myself.

Everone thinks I am the good girl and sometimes I think I am too. Then I get annoyed at the tag and 'tag' myself with something else. I tried speed because everyone assumed I wouldn't. But I still refuse to smoke cigarettes. How pathetic is that.

I won't whinge and complain here. This is just me. Accept it or move on. My other blog is where I hold back, fearful of the people I know judging me. You I don't fear.

Lit.